Men and their Trucks

Men think of their trucks as tools. And they use them as such. Steve had the day off, so he decided to take out an annoying palm fron-y thing in the front circle. We both hate it, and it just is out of place in our ‘woodsy’ landscaping. He tried to eliminate it once before by cutting it way back. Now, we gardeners know that that was just pruning. He didn’t and was quite surprised to find it grew back even stronger than before. He thought it was some kind of miracle. I don’t like to shake his faith in God, so I just let him believe it was, indeed, a miracle. Now two years later, that miracle has caused a sight issue in the driveway. Meaning, I can’t see to get out of my own driveway. So, this bright sunny Sunday was the day to destroy the thing, miracle or not! ‘One good pull with the Ford F150 and that puppy will be outta there!’ Hummmm…me thought! One good pull, he thinks…

As he got into the truck, I could just picture my Dad doing the same thing. In fact, I thought my Dad was the only man who used his vehicle for everything. You see, my dad was a kind of ‘I do whatever I want, when I want, don’t follow the rules, make them up as I go, inventive’ kind of guy. His way was better, and what was the argument? And, he was usually right, darn it! He was, in truth, the only person on the planet who had a cast iron vice mounted on the tailgate of his utility van. He also had one of those change things you push the lever and coins come out the bottom, screwed to the dashboard. You know, the kind that has a slot for pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters? When I asked him about this, he stated as if only his genius could figure it out, ‘In case I need change for a pop or something’. OH…He also decided it a good idea to have paper towels at the ready, so he installed a paper towel holder. He only snag came when he inadvertently screwed it into the gas tank. But it was a good idea because you never know when you might spill that pop you just bought with your change from the change dispenser!

As Steve put the chain on the back of the F 150, my mind went back to the day my Dad drove up to my house on W. Lime to take out a tree trunk that had been apparently bugging him for some time. He attached a chain to the tree trunk and back to the vice on the back of his Van. In one good pull, it came out and he just drove off with the vegetation trailing behind him as he rounded the corner to W. Lemon and up the very same driveway Steve is now attempting the same thing. It was this very same van that Steve inherited that he had the brilliant idea it would move the 14 Foot Lumacraft Boat full of dirt. (I was using it as a planter, another story, another time!) All I needed was for it to be lifted up about 4 inches on one side and I would slip a rock under it to level it out. He attached some clamp kind of thing to the boat and the other end to the vice on the van. No go. Not even a breath of air under the offending side....Do you know how heavy a boatload full of dirt is? Well, it will just remain a little lopsided!

So the truck is ready for ‘one good pull’. I sat on the porch in my rocker and just watched my he-man at work! I love to watch him do stuff! I guess I should preface this by mentioning that it’s Sunday and the Mormon Church is full as is the street with big, ol Mormon family cars. Right next to the palm fron-y thing. As they exited the church, a few at a time, they looked a little worried about their big, ol family cars in the path of sure destruction. Steve just diligently went about his task at hand. Well, I got board, so I came in and sat at my computer to write this story. I’d love to tell you the ending, but he’s still out there pullin’!

...An hour later he came in dirt from head to toe, sweat dripping from his brow, proud look of manliness and stated, “That puppy is outta there!”

Men and their trucks…just another tool!